情面

我很相信，每人都有點ego的。譬如說，當你見到一個i banker整天的achievement 就是將pitchbook 的format 一致化，千萬不要問：點解無人staff你？又譬如說，女仔問你佢肥唔肥，我相信無人會說你好肥。
有些話是不可說的。有些話卻不能不說。
比方說，給TA的電郵裡，總需要加幾句thank you enjoy your class thoroughly 怎麼樣的。擦鞋嘛，其實是很深的學問。要看擦的人是甚麼料子的，被人看穿的話不但升職無望，還會讓人忌你三分。要說起來騷騷癢癢的，看似不著邊際，事實上卻已經排練多時。可惜，我做人自視過高，不屑當這功夫。日後說話會害死自己啦。
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看見同學參加了 Osama 死去的celebration,有點作嘔的衝動。我很驚訝，連在長春藤大學受過教育的人都可以如此fanatic. 許美國人真的受了很多苦，這些我是不能理解的。又或許本來我就是一個佛教徒的關係，始終認為，作了孽是會有報應的。這不是說，因著別人為自己的惡果而受苦，所以就應該高興起來。我想，關鍵是應該有憐憫的心。幸災樂禍的情境，讓我有點心寒。今天的得意忘形，是種共孽。因為，這裡沒有compassion. It seems to me that justice, in Obama's word, is retaliation. What is compassion to you? What is forgiveness to you? I am scared of people's cruelty shown in how happy they celebrated Osama's death. I think he did something very very wrong. But it is still sad to see lives taken away, no matter how sinful those lives are.
Is it required? To forgive such an evil enemy? It is a question I find it too hard to answer. I want to say yes we must all feel that way. But it seems too demanding to most of the people. Is charity a duty? I asked myself, if, imagine, someone killed my parents and the government killed that murderer, would I be happy like that? Jesus Christ! No! I will not be happy! I would be sad. Very sad. 因為戾氣太重。
and then I ask, so Americans are either not as kind as I, an ordinary Chinese girl, am. or Osama did something worse than killing their parents? I read articles written by my friends of how they felt. In their opinion, they justify why people were so happy by saying how the whole nation is traumatized and trampled collectively in the socioeconomic aspect. It is a backslash to the American superpower. But to me, honestly, it still seems a pretty shaky reason to be THAT happy. It is not as worse as getting your parents killed.
Just by thinking about how happy people were for his death makes me feel sick. Like literally I feel very unsafe not because of the possible retaliation from the terrorists, but because of the similarity of the Americans are compared to their enemy. I am scared of being in such a merciless society. They ask, how could Osama kill so much and how could he have no sympathy to the innocent lives. What they do not realise is that they are just like those terrorists. They don't show compassion to lives they are not familiar with. It does not seem reasonable to me, to kill him on spot, even though he killed so many innocents. I think no one deserved to be killed, ever ever.
We should not treat people based on reciprocity. We should treat people equal by the principle of compassion. Even though people have been unkind to me, I will still be kind to them. I have yet to come up with a reason of why people should do that, but I think it will make our society better off if we don't expect reciprocity.